But I'm not going to lie - I've been struggling with some down days again. Days when it's been hard to get out of bed. Days when a memory of Pippa - long gone, suddenly makes me cry. Days when I feel like I'm on a deserted island.
I keep going back to the Psalms. It's crazy, but God started caring for this part of my soul journey even before we left Kamloops, as the last study we did in our life group was about Psalms. And the raw honesty of its writers. And the conflicted feelings we have while journeying through tough times and grief.
So it's ok to write, "Why am I so downhearted? Why do I feel sad and alone?" And in the next line write, "I will praise You with all that is in me, for I know You are good!" I can say, "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want" in one breath, and cry "Is this week never going to end? " the very next day.
He knows. He understands.
He's walking with me.
He didn't take the Psalm writers out of their situations, but He walked along with them and let them express their very inner most emotion. Sometimes those writers were even mad! Gasp.
On the less spiritual side, the movie, Inside Out -- I LOVED that movie, helped me - even in my old age (ha!), view Sadness in a different light. (I can appreciate that blue girl plopping down and needing to be dragged....)
Sometimes Sadness and Joy have to work together for awhile.
Hand in hand, that is what's needed.